Even then, I knew. I knew it would hunt me down some day. I knew the name before the police office laid the subpoena down on the table, stepping away quickly so we could maintain 6 feet for social distancing while I reluctantly picked the heavy envelope up. The prosecutor was grateful for my meticulous level of detail - courteous, deferential even. It wasn't me on trial, after all.
"If it helps you and the team with your moral distress, I'm happy to touch base with you again in the future. Is there anything else you'd like to discuss?" Massaging my temples, I felt the underlying muscles tense as I clenched my jaw to prevent some choice words from coming out. No, I think you've wasted more than enough of my time today. Thank you for showing me how incredibly unhelpful an ethics consultation can be. It's been an education.