You weren't even alive long enough for me to see your face, little one. But I remember every detail. The overhead page for a pediatric rapid response team to the main lobby. Running into the pediatric social worker as I stepped out of the stairwell, casually adopting her stride as we were pointed outside to … Continue reading Why Aren’t You More Resilient?
"How do you keep doing this every day, patient after patient and still keep saying the right thing?" A thousand thoughts raced through my mind. Do I demure and say what I'm supposed to say? "Oh, this is all just part of being a doctor! It's such a privilege to be allowed to enter into someone's fears and emotions. Everything is awesome. Just living the dream." Or do I say, "I'm fine. You're fine. We're all fine. Please stop asking questions for which you're not prepared to hear the answer to." Or perhaps the truth, "I'm actually not fine. Thanks for asking. The only thing that's allowing me to make it through the day is that I've formulated an exit strategy, because I can't take this anymore."
This horrendous cold and flu season has been an exercise in running on auto-pilot. Running from room to room every 10-15 minutes has been a blur of declaring, "Virus - no antibiotics needed. Virus - no antibiotics needed. Ear infection - here's your amoxicillin. Flu - Tamiflu sucks and you're going to feel like dying for the next 7 days, sorry. Maybe take me up on the flu shot next year." This was my life for two weeks after making the mistake of not taking any time off Christmas/New Year's at the end of 2017. (Note to self: Worst . Idea . Ever. Take a vacation already!!!) Just as I was ready to go insane from the monotony, the palest toddler with the most crystal blue eyes brought everything to a screeching halt.
It's time for a mindshift - what will I gain by working less? What material/costly things can I let go of in order for me to get my life back? Am I really allocating my time and money to the things that are important to me, or am I devoting my resources to things that help me put blinders on to a bad situation for a time? What would you gain with less? ...