This was my second week of going down to 4 days a week in an effort to work my way through burnout. But that’s only one piece of the puzzle.
I talked about needing to refocus on restocking my joy fund in a guest post on Worthy, excerpt below:
If you’ve already read that post (thank you!), I’ll get to the good stuff now:
How will I restock my joy fund?
I’m going to start by finding joy and gratitude daily.
And because I’m a sucker for goal oriented achievements – this is how I’m going to do it → 30 Day Challenge: Restocking My Joy Fund
In an effort of accountability, I’m going document my journey on Instagram – come join me HERE.
What brings me joy?
This has been a harder question for me to answer which I suspect is why I haven’t really taken a deeper dive into this.
What makes me happy, truly happy?
I’ve been filling my Joy Fund with cynicism, frustration and fury for so long, sometimes I don’t even know anymore.
It’s been much easier to focus on the negative aspects of my job — just this week, I listened to a 5-minute F-bomb filled voicemail from an irate patient, upset I wouldn’t prescribe antibiotics for allergies.
Another patient informed me I was a horrible doctor who didn’t care because I refused to prescribe narcotics and sleeping pills at the same time, a combination that people are literally dying from.
I keep reliving these scenarios in my head throughout the day, again and again until my Joy Fund is overflowing with negativity.
Even now on my own personal weekend time, I can feel the frustration welling up in me over things that happened several days ago.
Herein lies my problem — I have allowed these negative experiences to crowd out the things that do bring me joy throughout my day:
- Catching my dog falling asleep while upright
Ernie - Thank you’s from patients
- A 4-year-old who interrupts my conversation with her mother to tell me something very important: Chocolate milk is her favorite
- People telling me something I wrote resonates with them
- Celebrating my friends’ personal victories with buying their first house, launching their own businesses or getting married
- Reliving Pacific Northwest Hikes with my husband through pictures
If there’s anything I’ve learned from my time in medicine, it’s that bad things are always happening no matter how much we try to put safeguards in place to prevent them.
It’s up to me to shift my focus from soul-sucking incidents to the things that make me happy. It’s up to me to implement the necessary changes to move forward.
I realize now, before I can tackle getting my enthusiasm and zest for life back, I need to intentionally refill my Joy Fund.
For some odd reason, after I finished my medical training I thought I would live happily ever after, in denial of the fact that life still goes on with its ups and downs.
I became complacent, not taking charge of my life and my wayward thinking, as if my medical degree shielded me from everything life has to throw at me.
But now I’m back.